*WRITTEN FEBRUARY 15* - Late post
Here we are, 9 minutes away from February 15. 9 minutes until the end of Valentines day, and I MUST blog because the Lord reminded me of some beautiful truths and in a way that I hadn't let them move my heart in quite a while... and it's too long for a Facebook status. Therefore, I blog. (That's how most of my blogs happen) :)
I'm currently struggling through something called "7-in-7", which is an event that I am required to participate in because of a class I'm taking. This "event" is 7 days (who would have guessed?!) and it involves writing 7 songs (Another shocker) ;) Let's put this simply - you are challenged to write 7 songs, in 7 days. This was created and is put on once a semester by a local musician and artist to challenge other artists/musicians, to stretch them and to encourage them to write beautiful music.
I love the idea of this challenge. I think it's amazing what lyrics and music others come up with. A lot of the other participants are friends of mine... and it's incredible to see how insanely talented these people are. Literally, all of them. I am inspired by each song I listen to.
But, coming into this, surrounded by these creative and amazing artists, I feel SO completely unqualified and inadequate.
I have never written a song before. Ever. I mean, lyrics and music - the whole thing. A complete song.
I have tried before - admittedly, I did not press too hard. I decided that song writing was not a gift I had because it does NOT come easily to me.
So, I probably did not get the best start to this - knowing amazing people who write music that I can't even dream of creating something close to, knowing that I cannot do this, and terrified that I have to.
Here is the most beautiful thing that the Lord has taught me in this so far, these first three days.
I am inadequate. I don't qualify. I cannot accept and complete this challenge - without Him. Without Him I am hopeless. Songwriting is just not a gift I have. The Lord was so gracious to reveal this to me before even day 1! Knowing this, I am so excited at the prospect of writing even one song. Because that one song that I write - has to come from the Lord. I am constantly praying throughout the day and through this whole process. Because I cannot do this, I need Him to be my strength. And I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness," Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
My biggest prayer, my strongest desire is that whatever song comes from my lips will be glorifying to the Lord. Not that I will be praised for writing a "great" song - but that He will be praised because He is worthy and deserving of ALL our praise.
Tonight (the evening of day 3), I have actually had some really good inspiration and had some beautiful time in the scripture and in prayer. I'm sitting on the floor in my room with my Bible and notebook and pen and was praying and praying - then just started writing as words were popping into my head.
I found myself stopping shortly after I'd written lyrics that were just truth from scripture - doubting my ability to continue, fearing that I would mess up what is meant to be written. I came to a stopping point. Words weren't flowing anymore - I still didn't have a full song, about 17 lines. I felt like I needed to read for more inspiration. So I picked up one of my all time favorite books, called, "The Valley of Vision" - which is a collection of puritan prayers and devotions. And prayed that God would give me words, that He would continue to spark inspiration and create a song through me. I prayed out loud, in a whisper, "What words? What words God?"
I "blindly" opened the book. A random page - page 290 to be exact - which is titled, "Love" (Yes, I acknowledged the appropriateness of this title according with what day it happens to be :) And as I began reading - I realized that "Love" is the entire point of the song that I am writing. Love.
Just read these next lines - they are from the prayer that I read.
"Love brought thee from heaven to earth,
from earth to the cross,
from the cross to the grave."
"Love led thee to bow thy head in death.
My salvation is the point where perfect created love
and the most perfect uncreated love
meet together."
When I am incapable...
When I am weak...
When I am breaking...
My face to the ground,
desperately reaching
clinging to all that is left
My last ounce of hope
That's where I find You.
Nothing else left for me to see
But a beautiful God
Whose love covers me.
